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The Not Really Adventures But Adventures Of A Constantly Dazed Unicorn

I like bananas

Tony

I have never been this devastated in my entire existence. 

I am broken. 

Let us begin this emotionally scarring tale. 

I had this perfect bra. It was powder pink. It had adorable little bows on the side. It was soft and comfy as fuck. It looked cute as shit with my pastel rainbow undies. It fitted like a sock. And, most importantly, it made me look like I actually had some boobs. It was my precious and I would have turned into Smeagle for it with no regrets. It made me happy. Until today.

So, I got home in a pretty okay mood. I changed into my most comfy onesie. I put on my emoji slippers. I made a latte. I ate some pasta. I wasn’t attacked by my cousins. My day was ending with some pretty okay vibes. Or so I thought…

I was getting ready to hibernate next to the plug point with my phone, all pretty okay and shit, when I heard my aunt call. I walked to the courtyard not knowing what savage gruesomeness laid ahead. In the darkness,  I hear her say “Tony got a hold of it”, I then notice something fair in her hand. My brain refused to identify the torn mess. Tony couldn’t betray me. I snuck him extra food. I told him jokes. I petted him. He wouldn’t do something so heartless. But he did. 

I cannot begin to describe the dark feeling that engulfed me as I let my dearest fall into garbage. I hope that I will someday recover from this horrible experience. But for now, I will drown my sorrows in tea. 

Goodbye Mon Petit Chérie.

You will be deeply missed. 

Okay bye, 

My Hart Is Seer

Finally

I typed this post out on the bus over a period of three days. It was long. It was beautiful. It was deleted. How? I don’t know. But I was pretty disappointed with life. Anyway let us begin…again. Fucking bastard site.

So, let’s start of by reliving a moment so treacherous that it has depreciated my will to look bomb af. There I was, living life to the fullest in semi-heels, walking like I had a credit balance…until we came to the stairs and my legs stopped balancing, and I made a considerable loss at life, which has now downgraded me to junk status. Fortunately, the Lord was with me (cause I was at church) (*high fives Jesus*) my precious beloved knee highs didn’t get torn (even though my knee got scraped) (I’m still in awe of that miracle). Unfortunately, because of this new scar that sorta balances out the one on the other, I now have the knees of a 7 year old child (I like wearing shorts). Luckily, only a few people saw that brief moment of clumsiness (*coughs*). Unluckily, more than a few people heard. Because I screamed. Which wouldn’t have been so bad if it was short and sweet. But, thanks to my face preservation skills, I went down slowly and awkwardly, like a newborn giraffe learning to walk, so my different pitched scream (I like to give people variety) went on for a good number of seconds. 

Did I tell you that I really like taking the train. Like if I could sit on the train the whole day, I wouldn’t cause of the air-conditioning which fucks with nose and head and body, but I’d sit for a good couple of hours. And the people you see are interesting. Okay I’m lying, only a few are interesting, the rest are business people (well people in boring suits) (I’m sure they’re aren’t boring) (but the clothes they’re possibly forced to wear are) (shem). 

The other day there was this lady who jumped onto the train while the doors were closing. She made it in. Her bag didn’t. And the Controller (???) (I don’t know what you call them but on Thomas and Friends that guy is called the Fat Controller so) didn’t wanna open up the doors for her remove he bag. So she was glued to the doors as it sped on and on and on. Shem. 

Okay, so there’s these rails that seperate the escalators from the platforms and most people, being the uncultured swines of society, go under them instead of walking the, apparently life-threatening, 5-second journey around. So there was this guy who attempted to swing under in a suave way. He swung to my side, bumped into a set a female legs, which caused him to rock back hard into his side, and then slowly back to mine. The long-legged female ignored him and continued on her way, leaving him literally hanging on a rail of embarrassment. And because it happened right in front of me, I got to witness this fuckery with him witnessing me witness this fuckery. Oh, he tried to play it off. How? By saying “Okay”. What the fuck. Hopefully he learnt his lesson and will next time attempt to walk around in a suave way. Fingers crossed. Cuntbubbles.

And fuck me, there’s these fences I pass everyday with the company’s sign and the most annoying slogan that pisses me of every time I pass it; “The Invisible Wall”. What the fuck. NO. I see you. I fucking see you. You are NOT invisible. Not even close. You aren’t even a wall. You’re a fence. I can’t deal with these lies anymore. It’s all too much for me to handle. The world is becoming a dark place. Let’s hold hands and pray. Motherfuckers. 

Okay bye, 

Gandalf the Grey

PS. Did you notice my financial metaphors in the second paragraph?!?!?!? 

Oh Shit I Forgot To Title This Before Posting…But I Did Now So… 

I’m alive.

And I’m a piece of shit. 

DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I WAS LIKE “I’M GOING TO BLOG TODAY” BUT DIDN’T BECAUSE MY BATTERY ENDED UP DEAD?!?!?!? 

Why does it end up dead, Bianca? 

BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN PLAYING GAMES ON MY PHONE!!! 

Since when do you have games on your phone, Bianca?

SINCE I HAVE ENOUGH STORAGE SPACE BECAUSE I DON’T HAVE TO SAVE MEMES ANYMORE TO SEND TO PEOPLE CAUSE I CAN JUST TAG THEM ON FACEBOOK NOW!!! 

Okay cool. 

I HAVE RED AND BLACK HAIR NOW BY THE WAY. 

How did that happen, Bianca? 

I ATTEMPTED DYEING MY OWN HAIR BLUE BUT I DONE FUCKED IT UP AND HAD TO WALK AROUND WITH HALF DARK BROWN, QUARTER LIGHT BROWN, QUARTER BLONDE WITH GREEN PATCHES, HAIR FOR A WEEK UNTIL MY AUNT HAD MERCY ON ME AND TOOK ME TO A SALON WHO COULD ONLY FIX IT BY MAKING HALF BLACK AND HALF RED (OR PURPLE, BUT I DONT LIKE PURPLE SO). I LIKE IT A LOT. 

Cool. Anything else? 

I STARTED MY INTERNSHIP LIKE A MONTH AGO AND I HAVE BEEN TAKING THE GAUTRAIN LIKE A (it was at this moment when I saved the changes to this post and went to eat, instead of coming back and completing this post, I started playing Sonic the Hedgehog. I completed a daily challenge, a normal challenge, finished a level, and bought a new character. Fuck me) RESPONSIBLE MATURE ADULT FROM THE PAST WEEK. AND I ONLY BROKE ONE RULE (you arent allowed to eat or drink, but I was sipping on my marshmallow milkshake) AND GOT LOST ONE (I took the wrong exit and ended up on another side and walked around reaching 2 dead ends before asking for directions) AND CROSSED TWO MAIN ROADS WITHOUT GETTING KNOCKED (which is kinda a big deal cause I usually just carelessly run across and hope that Jesus isn’t ready for me yet). AND I SWEAR IF I DON’T MEET A CUTE GUY IN THE BUS OR TRAIN LIKE IN THE MOVIES, I WILL BE SUPER PISSED. 

Okay. 

OH AND YESTERDAY I ATTEMPTED TAKING A SELFIE WITH THIS BOMB ASS SNAPCHAT FILTER AND MY 8 YEAR OLD COUSIN JUMPED ME AND SENT ME CRASHING TO THE FLOOR WHERE I SCRAPED MY KNEE. I NOW HAVE A BATTLE WOUND AND SURVIVAL STORY. IT HURTS. HOWEVER, BEFORE THAT LIFE THREATENING FALL, I WAS MAKING BLUEBERRY MUFFINS (which turned out amazing by the way) AND I FORGOT TO TAKE OUT THE TRAY BEFORE PREHEATING THE OVEN AND AS I WAS TAKING IT OUT I TOUCHED THE TRAY AND BURNT MY FINGER. THAT HURT MORE. 

Shame. 

ALSO I DISCOVERED THAT I AM PATHETIC AT DARTS. MY ALTERNATIVE UNIVERSE SELF IS ASHAMED OF ME. MY HOPES OF BECOMING A SPY HAS DIMINISHED A BIT. BUT I REMAIN POSITIVE. I’M SURE THEY HAVE A PILL THEY COULD GIVE ME TO IMPROVE MY AIM.

Okay bye, 

Your Mercurial Piece Of Shit

Holy Fuck.

Okay…where shall I begin. 

So I turned 21…5 times. Once on the 19th (Monday), again on the 19th (Friday), the 19th (Saturday), also the 19th (Sunday) (wait was New Years’ Day on a Sunday?), and the 19th (Wednesday). 

I’m still so confused. Even more so. I’m currently sitting on a couch in Benoni, 561km from where I stay. How the fuck did that happen?

Also, on my 5th 21st birthday I carried a baby. Me, Mariah Bianca Govender, carried a 3 (???) week old baby. B. A. B. Y. The fear was real. It was a rush. The adrenaline that was pumping through my veins (does adrenaline pump through veins? I don’t know. I swear I’m smart though) kept me on my feet. My heart was running faster than Sonic on that booster pack thingy (I have that game on my phone. Another thing: I have games on my phone now). I had to drink a glass of water to calm myself down after I had handed her back after the photo. 

Also, my goal to stop breaking things needs to be revised. I don’t think I can stop. I lost count of the things I broke (accidentally) during this few weeks I was away. And it’s not because I’m clumsy. Like the plug point switch broke because I was going too hardcore on my sewing machine. It could even be argued that it wasn’t my fault. It actually was argued. But of course, the counter argument had examples of past misdemeanors concerning shower heads and flooding and mini explosions. Well fuck me. 

Also, I accidentally cleaned the microwave using antiseptic liquid instead of multi-surface cleaner. Firstly, they said Dettol. It’s not my fault the first Dettol product my eyes fell upon was the antiseptic liquid. Secondly, WHY WOULD YOU TRUST ME WITH SUCH THINGS. I broke a fucking broom while sweeping. Has the universe not made it clear enough that I’m not cut out for home related shit. 

Also, I made 152 tickets in the arcade which was the most I’ve ever gotten. It was a huge deal for me. I was able to get an emoji popper, scooby wires, black squishy lizards and a mini slinky. #Winning. Although I swapped one squishy lizard for a mini glowy dinosaur with my cousin cause I liked that as well but I didn’t have enough tickets to get it but luckily he did and he was willing to make a deal with me and so we both ended up in a win-win situation. #DoubleWinning. 

Also, you know that thing where people say that in an emergency the first things you grab and run says a lot about you…well, there was an emergency. The first things I grabbed was my box of presents, make-up brushes, make-up, curler, hair dryer, clothes and pet dragon. I’m afraid of what that says about me. Anyway, I ended up dropping most of my clothes. And not to mention I had on a honey and lemon face mask (cause we were doing a spa day). And had only one foot shoe on (cause the other got lost in all the rush). And the hair dryer was dragging on the floor as I was power walking (cause I couldn’t run cause of all the shit I had in my hands). I really don’t know how my aunt kept a straight face watching me stumble into the safe zone. How am I…???

Also, it’s been 3 weeks and I’ve only dropped my new phone 3 times. #Growing. 

Also, I lost R250. But The Rat found it and gave it to The Father but they refused to tell me they found it and expected me to believe that I actually lost it. Luckily the aunt confirmed my suspicions so I’m gonna get back my money with interest. Or I will raise Hell. Life’s financially difficult for a newlygraduate fussily looking for worthy employment. 

Also, my 13 year old cousins want to go underwear shopping with me. Teenagers think I’m cool. I must be doing something right. Or am I doing something wrong…I’m so confused. 

Also, I nearly drown in the pool. I can’t swim. And I got pulled in too deep. Luckily my self preservation skills are A++ and I used my new cousin to push myself to the wall. She got pushed underwater and water went up her nose but she was fiiine in the end. No harm, no foul. 

Also, my anxiety spiked. 

Okay bye, 

Your Faithful Mess

Phoenix-ing 

Where have I been? Parking dom. With books. And naps. And noodles. With hot sauce. In my bag.  

But legit, I have accomplished nothing except gaining knowledge for this past few…months? I don’t know, time has become a dandelion caught in a tornado. I’ve been in a zombiefied trance until today, when I awoke. I think it was the substantial amount of sea sand I ate. Accidently. Mother Nature cures, brah. 

So anyway, when I awoke I realized that my birthday is actually next week Monday. And I’m turning 21. MindBlown. I mean,  I still shop in the kiddies section and I get more excited going into “Toys R Us” than any other store and I cried when the parents didn’t wanna buy me a Batman costume. How am I turning 21? How did I even make it to 21? Some of Life’s confusing mysteries. 

And while we’re talking about mysteries,  I just read a book by Herman Koch (Summer House with Swimming Pool) and OhMyFuckingGosh. After I completed it I was like “K, cool”, but then when I went into the shower and was forced to chill alone with my thoughts I realized it was actually OhMyFuckingGod. This smart motherfucker shows you how you can miss clues banging on your front door by presuming the noise is coming from the window. Does that make sense? I don’t know. 

By the way, if you ever get captured or whatever and your nemesis is using zip ties to bind your hands, you should present your hands with your palms facing down and your fists clenched (it makes your wrist bigger, creating space so you can sorta easily slip out of it). The more you know. 

Okay bye, 

Reincarnated Nearly 21 Year Old In Denial Yay 

PS. I’m still being stalked by my ghost. Constantly waking up at 3:00 am to convince it to fuck off is killing me…softly with his love.

PPS. I really don’t wanna get old. 

Oooh The Excitement

Oh how I love doing Q&As (this sounds sarcastic. But it’s actually not). So firstly I’d like to extend my utmost gratitude to Alyssa for making my life with these questions. If you fellow bloggers have any sense, you would click on that link and follow her amazeball blog. 

*This was actually supposed to be a Sunshine Blogger Award post but I already did that so I’m changing this shit because I’m a rebel.

Gather ’round children, let us begin the questioning and answering.

1. Whats your most embarrassing memory? 

Okay so it was the holidays before I could just start high school. My friend and I were outside playing Monopoly on the hood of her dads car. Across us, standing by the gate, was her big brother and his high school friends. It was the year of leggings and racer back tops. With my back facing the boys, I was consumed with the task of paying myself coloured money. In what felt like slow motion and seemed like fast motion I felt my top go up, my leggings go down and my ass go free. The rat (unfortunately the small brother) had come from who knows where and had pulled my leggings, with my panty, down fully exposing my ass to a bunch of high school dudes. I was horrified. 

2. Coffee or Tea?

Coffee. Strong, creamy, rich, not too hot coffee. Two and a half sugars. 

3. What would you do if you could be invisible for one whole day?

First, I’d go to an amusement park and go on all the rides for free without waiting in any lines. Second, I’d go around scaring mortals. Third, I’d join a circus until my time was up. 

4. Do you have an annoying catchphrase? 

No, I mean “Fuck” is basically my catchphrase but it’s not annoying in any way. However, I do tend to pat people on their heads and that seems to annoy some of them. I can’t help it, you are all such good boys. 

5. What is your biggest regret in life so far?

6. What tv show do you plan your day around in order to see it live?

Basically nothing cause I record everything so I can watch it alone, in my own time, without any disturbances. I literally go shambeez when I’m watching one of my shows and I can hear people talking or moving stuff or walking around or breathing.

7. If your life was a movie, which actor would play you?

This is so hard. Like I have a list. And I can’t choose. But I shall for the sake of the universe. Anne Hathaway.

8. If you could choose one superpower, what would it be and why?

Mind control over everything (humans, animals, mother nature, EVERYTHING). It’s all you need to take over the world.

9. If you inherited or won a million pounds, what would you do with it?

I’d use it to start my empire. And then travel the world. 

10. Of all your pet-peeves, which is the weirdest?

I get really mad when I crave Teletubby custard or toast and I realize it doesn’t actually exist. Why would you create something that looks so perfect and then not make it tangible to humans. Thats actually a form of torture in some cultures.

11. Whats your favourite joke?

2016 🙂

Okay bye,

Shiver Me Timbers

Panty-droppers

I think I’m going through an existential crisis. But only during this month. So I’m going to pretend that I was put on this earth to admire OhMyFuckingGod male specimens. Yayyyyyyy.

*The following humans are fictional characters.

Let the feast begin. 

1. Ramsey Bolton. Most of you may be going Nooooo what the actual fuck is wrong with you. But. Did you actually take the time to look at him and appreciate his chiselled jaw, cheeky smile and passionate eyes or did you just write him off just because he cut off Theons’ dick and mailed it to his family; and because he killed his father and fed his step-mother and half-brother to hounds; and because he flayed and tortured humans? Okay so maybe he was possibly the worst character on Game of Thrones and everyone probably rejoiced when he died, but you have to admit he was one of the smartest and I will still thank the Lord for his gorgeous ass.​


 

2. Dorian Tyrell. I have so many screenshots of his face saved on my phone. He is basically the only reason I watch The Mask every time it shows on the tv. I cannot deal with how perfect Dorian is. I mean. Lord have mercy. The smooth way he talks, those hollow cheeks, the endless light eyes. I’m currently dying. ​


 

3. Jason Dean. Dark twinkling eyes, cocky smirk, bluntly wise mouth that spills poetic chaos from a twisted mind and homicidal tendencies make a deadly combination. I wish I could bottle up everything he has ever said in his fuck my life voice because it is basically baby-making music and this sentence makes no sense but it gets my point across. He is one of the best cult classic characters in…life. I swear everyone needs to watch Heathers just to appreciate the perfection that is Jason Dean. ​​


 

4. Jerome Valeska. If you know me, you know a special place in my heart belonging to The Joker. And I’m hoping that Gotham‘s Jerome Valeska ends up being The Joker. Because I mean. Did you see him. Did you hear him. Did you feel him. Well I did, in my soul. His psychopathic antics, idiosyncratic perspective and Jesus help me smile and laugh makes him a universal panty-dropper. I can’t. I mean. Fuck. Just. Fuck.​


 

5. Klaus Mikaelson. Bitch I don’t even need to elaborate.​ 


 

6. Thin Man. Thin Man from Charlie’s Angels was hot as hell. He may have had a hair fetish, but hey who doesn’t have their kinks. That pale complexion with those baby blue eyes that you just want to dive in with that carved jaw and sunken cheeks with the tallness makes every human weak in the knees. The beauty of this creature should be stored in every species heart. ​


 

7. Malachai “Kai” Parker. If you did not fall in love with this fucker the first time you set eyes on him, do you really have a heart? Do you really have eyes? I mean you don’t even need eyes, you can hear his hotness in his words. He may have been a hate-filled sociopath but he had his reasons and one should not lessen their passion for him based on his actions which may be frowned upon by most people. Because not only did the Lord bless him with aesthetics but he also blessed him with brains and wit and recklessness. Kai is love, Kai is life. The Vampire Diaries should not have killed him off. I’m still quite mad about that.​


 

8. Chuck Bass. He is probably the only one on this list who’s normal. Which just shows you how special he is. He is legit the poster boy of puberty gone right. He made me believe in miracles. In Season 1 of Gossip Girl his ambitious heart and astute brain captured my heart. In Season 2 his ambitious heart, astute brain and Godly jawline captured my soul. Chuck Bass equals perfection. Because he’s Chuck Bass.​


 

9. Jared Leto as The Joker. *drops mic*


 

There are a whole bunch of OhMyFuckingGods that I didn’t get a chance to list. Because 9 is my lucky number. And I’m stopping at 9. In hopes that these perfections come to life. I hope the universe is reading this and fulfills my request. Cause that’d be cool of it. 

Okay bye,

An OhMyFuckingGod Enthusiast

The Stupidity of Single-minded People

Okay so there’s this lady from my church who, despite being friends with the parents, I still kinda liked. Until today.

So a couple of weeks ago, I went for a function and she was there. And I was, of course, dressed in full black with my kinda new black lipstick which I absolutely love. Now despite my usual anti-social behavior, I smiled at her, cause as I said before, I kinda liked her. Until today. 

Anyway, in the morning, while I was getting dressed for church, the mother came and said to me that I should not wear my black lipstick. Now, me, who is confused as fuck because I don’t wear lipstick on Sundays because it takes me 10 minutes to put that shit on and I don’t have 10 minutes because my eyeliner takes up most of my time and I’m not ready to wake up 10 minutes earlier because I’m a lazy ass motherfucker, looks at her like wtf. And that’s when she tells me that that lady told her that she should tell me to STOP WEARING BLACK CAUSE IT’S SATANIC AND THAT SHE’S WORRIED ABOUT THE WAY I’M DRESSING.!?;:’ Bitch what.!?;:’

Like what the actual fucking fuck. Okay so the colour black is satanic now? Does that mean I’m extra Satanic cause my hair is black? So are all humans who are born with black hair are spawns of the devil? And lets not forget about the black animals who are probably just demons. I guess electricity is also Satanic cause black coal is used in producing it. Black garbage bins? Satanic. Tyres? Better order some white ones like McQueen cause guess what, Satanic! Those assignments and shit you printed out in black ink? Those are now spells from the Satanic Bible. Oreos? Satanic. Black buttons, studs, scissors, handles, glasses, plugs, teddy bear noses? Satanic. Batman? King of Satanism.

I guess the KKK are going to heaven cause they wear white, and of course God judges you based on the colours you wear and not on the person you are. I guess the cults who sacrifice virgins are actually just sending them to heaven cause they put them in white dresses. Funerals? Oh we are wearing black, not because we’re mourning oh no, but because we’re actually sending your soul to Hell (See this is actually a Satanic ritual in disguise). I guess black cellphones, telephones and smartphones are used to summon Satan. Satan on that mainline, tell him what you want. You’ve got to call him up and tell him what you want.

Okay, in conclusion, if any of you own anything in the colour black, you are, according to that lady, Satanic. I will see you bitches in Hell.

(I mean. Like seriously. You cannot be that fucking stupid. And wait, you are fucking WORRIED about me. Well you should be worried about yourfuckingself, cause I’m about to draw a pentagon around you in my blood and sacrifice you to Satan. I really can’t deal with this type of bullshit anymore. Anyway, I’ll be wearing full black to church for the next couple months. Hopefully that scares her. If not, I can always chant.)

Okay bye, 

The Person Who’s Gonna See You Bitches in Hell

PS. We should all put in some money and get a pizza on our way there. I’ll pay for extra cheese. XXX

Aww Yiss

So.
My academic career is basically done. Unless I failed a module. Unlikely, but I wouldn’t be surprised cause I kinda went into idgaf mode during the last couple of weeks. Because it was the last couple of weeks. Anyway, holy fuck.

I’m trying to freak out. Like legit trying. But. It hasn’t hit home yet. Not. At. All. Its like a part of bra in has attached itself to the idea that I’m gonna be a student forever. Which eliminates any adulting anxiety (quick fact: I have only learnt this year that “Anxiety” is pronounced “ex-high-er-tea“. I always thought that “ex-high-er-tea” was spelled “Exhiety” and “Anxiety” was pronounced “ang-shit-tea“. I really don’t know how I’m alive. Cause another quick fact: I pronounce “CTRL” on the keyboard as “sit-ril” because I didn’t know it was “Control”. Fuck me with a chainsaw). Anyway, I’m quite happy with that cause you know, “Ignorance is Bliss”.

So, Monday was like technically my last day at campus. And well, apart for life fucking with me during my last hand-in (which was actually just putting all my shit on display) (and of course, I ended up zszhding around like a bodyless lizard tail because…life), it was actually a yay day. I mean, I got to leave a mark in the toilets with the help of a bestieeee (I’m dead).

So it started when I was helping (was I really) her (warrapen Jacobular) put her (hosh hosh aweh aweh) shit in the lockers. I happened to find a piece of black pleather, which after a while of playing with it, realized it wasn’t just a piece of pleather, but a piece of pleather glove. I was to keep it and cherish it forever,  but fate had another plan.

So for some reason we went into the toilets. I saw the windows. The gears clicked. And thus, the rest became history. 

First, Jacobular stole some prestick from the notices on the doors. Then I attempted placing it on the lowest pane (because, you know, it was the only one i could reach). But then of course, we realized someone could just pull it out and life as we know it would cease to exist. 

So, Jacobular suggested I get on the wall separating the toilets in order to stick it on the highest pane. So I stood on the toilet and Jacobular picked me up by my legs. And I just held on to the wall for balance. Until she told me to pick them up and place them over the wall. Which I didn’t know I was supposed to do. Which then started me off. Which then started her off. So there we were, her suspending a human, me the suspended human clutching the wall, laughing like idiots. 

Eventually, I was up and sitting on the wall and placing the hand on the highest pane while Jacobular acted as prestick-hander and photographer (which she usually isn’t good at, but goddamn you should see a masterpiece that was somehow produced. I will upload it at the end. Which is near).

Anyway, I hope that someone uses that toilet when the lights get cut off and sees the hand and have multiple conniptions and die. 

Okay not die. Cause we might get in trouble. But get really really really scared.

Okay bye,

The Soon To Be Fashion and Textile Design Graduate

PS. Here are the pictures of our shenanigans (or shenanigan?)​​​​​ (DO YOU KNOW HOW FUCKING LONG I’M TRYING TO UPLOAD THESE PICTURES BIT IT KEEPS FAILING. I’M FUCKING GOING SHAMBEEZ. I CAN’T HANDLE THIS TYPE OF BULLSHIT)​ ​​(OKAY ONLY ONE WANTS TO UPLOAD AND I DO NOT HAVE THE PATIENCE TO SIT FOR ANOTHER HOUR REMOTHERFUCKINGUPLOADING SO THERE: https://www.instagram.com/p/BLrGD0lDCEb/ YOU CAN SEE THE OTHER ONE ON IG)

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