I had a list of things to do today. Simple things that should have not been fucked up. But. I have a theory that the universe is after me or something. Cause the explanation for this shit cannot be that I’m a clumsyuncarefulmentalcasenutjob. I refuse, R-E-F-U-S-E, refuse, to accept that idea.

So my first easy, yet important as fuck, task was to make sure the gathering on my tulle skirt (3rd year Fashion and Textiles student holla) didn’t come out/break/whatever the hell it’s not supposed to do. But of course, the universe was like “No no no my dear one, not today you don’t“. So what happened, well I’ll tell you what the fuck happened, I tried waving it like cheerleader in greeting to my hairstylist (Wat kyn Jacobular) because ,you know, High School Musical, and the thread broke in the middle. So. That was that.

And then as I was walking to the car I had my tulle flying over my shoulder cause well, you know, I’m fabulous, and it caught on a wire fence and the thread got opened way more. I didn’t check for any tear damages cause I’m scared. So no.

But of course the universe wasn’t done. It hurt my soul, but it did not hurt my body. And it knew that…

So I was doing my fascinator (fancy word for headpiece) and I put on my glue gun. Hot glue gun. And I was glueing my shit together all happy and chilled cause I found a shortcut and bam. I put hot glue on my finger instead of my headband. And not just any finger. My most prized and beautiful finger. The middle. Yeah it’s still burning. It could be karma for flipping people off everyday, but I don’t remember flipping anyone off today, so that was a fucked up thing to do, Universe.

I legit need to be sewing right now and doing my work. But I’m just chilling on the couch like the piece of shit I am. Though, I must say, I do deserve an award for being The Master of Procrastination. Someone be a useful human being and make me the statue I deserve.

Oh and Update: I have not been contacted by the Secret Ninja Organization (SNO). I guess I failed the test by exposing them on my first blog post. Oh well. Their loss. If anyone of you is reading this in your dojo right now; Your loss.

Okay bye,
The Universes’ Personal Plaything…or Karmas’ Bitch