So I’m just gonna get right to the point. There’s a ghost stalking me. It’s not evil or anything…it’s actually pretty chilled.
Which is why I think:

The ghost is actually…me…from the Future *explosions and fireworks and shit*.

See what probably happened was; I got old and died. And then I turned into a ghost and ascended to Heaven (and of course my ghost was probably a 21 year old me cause God wouldn’t be so cruel as to let us not choose what age ghost we wanna be) (that legit rhymed. Am I a rapper? I guess so. I’m gonna have a fire mixtape. Kendrick better watch out. Yay me *drops mic*) (That didn’t rhyme because I was disturbed from my creative process by Sturridges’ goal. And no I’m NOT a fucking Liverpool supporter. My heart belongs to the red side of Manchester) (Manchester United, in case any of you didn’t get it. You should be ashamed of yourself) (Anyway back to my story). So once I made it to the gate after standing in the long ass line, the ou with The Book tells me that I’m on the waiting list so I have to chill one side. And so, because I’m so damn impatient cause I haven’t had coffee since I died, I kidnap his (the ou with The Book) dog and try to bargain with him for a place. But that doesn’t work. And I just get lowered down on the waiting list. So then I try and bribe him (the ou with The Book) with meth that I stole from a drug dealer as we were walking into the light to our seperate fates. That also doesn’t work. And I just get demoted to Hell.

So the first day I spent in Hell, I met up with the drug dealer I stole the meth from. He was hella pissed. He tried to kill me but I was already dead (I dont think he knew that he died and was in Hell. He’s probably still high. That must be some strong meth. Kudos to him on being such a legit distributor of goods). So, because I was bored as fuck with the lack of adventure parks, that Hell apparently lied about having, I decided to get revenge. So I stole Satan’s trident. He found out and kicked me out of Hell. And that’s how I ended up wandering the Earth as a ghost.

And how did I end up travelling in time to stalk myself you ask? Well, that was simple. I haunted a scientist who got so fed up with me that he made me a ghost time machine so that I could fuck with my younger self instead of him.

So that’s my theory.

Okay bye,
The Rapper With The Fire Mixtape

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