I should start by saying that I get very very very passionate concerning certain things. And Soccer/Football/Diski/WhateverYouPreferToCallIt is a category in the certain things. And Manchester United is the first subcategory in that category in the certain things. And I’m not sure if you heard, but we just won the FA Cup…

AND MY HEART HAS LITERALLY EXPLODED INTO RED AND YELLOW GLITTER CONFETTI AND COULD MELT EVERY ICE CAP WITH ALL THE HEAT THAT ITS RADIATING AND COULD POWER THE WHOLE OF THE SOUTHERN HEMISPHERE WITH THE ELECTRICITY THAT’S FLOWING THROUGH IT AND COULD FEED ALL THE CARNIVORES IN THE ANIMAL KINGDOM WITH THE SIZE THAT IT HAS GROWN...

I’M DOING SOMERSAULTS ON THE ROAD IN MY UNDERWEAR SINGING WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS (in my head, cause, you know, I cant actually do somersaults) (and I’d probably get hit by the parents for running on the road) (and its too cold to just wear underwear) (and my chest is heavy and I have a killer cough so I can’t do any singing)…

I’M FLIPPING OFF ALL THE LOSERS WHO KEPT THROWING SHADE AT UNITED TODAY AND AIMING KNIVES AT THEIR HEARTS IN ORDER TO KILL THEM (in my head, cause, you know, I can’t actually see them and I unfriended them from Facebook) (and I don’t have enough knives for that) (and my aim is kinda bad) (and I don’t wanna go to jail yet)…

I’M SCREAMING ON TOP OF MY LUNGS AND BANGING MY CHEST WHILE STANDING ON TOP THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING NAKED LIKE KING KONG ON METH (in my head, cause, you know, my cough) (and my chest) (and I’m not in New York, America) (and it’s still too cold to go naked) (and I’m not King Kong) (and I don’t have meth) (by the way, wasn’t King Kong the saddest movie ever?! I cried twice while watching it for the first time)…

I’M BOOTY HOPPING AND HEAD BANGING AND TWERKING AND JITTERBUGGING AND BELLY DANCING AND CHA CHA CHA-ING TO THE FA CUP THEME SONG (in my head, cause, you know, I don’t really have a booty) (and the song is not playing)…

I’m happy now.

My weekend has been made.

Tomorrow I shall wear pink.

Okay bye,
The King Kong Wannabe

PS. If anyone from a secret spy agency is reading this, I was just joking about having bad aim (or was I?) (You see how good I am at lying) (Or am I?) (:roll:), if you wanna recruit me…hit me up.

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