I have finally, after all these years, realized why I procrastinate. Let us begin this tale of enlightenment…(is that the right word, I don’t know)…
So as I was chilling on my bed, laughing at the fact that I have a million shit to do for Monday that I haven’t started yet and knowing I’m gonna be fucked, it hit me that I need to do my eyebrows. And so I threatened myself that if I don’t get the fuck up and start my work, I won’t allow me to go to the salon and get that shit plucked. It worked…after a few hours (I’m trying. Its not as easy as it sounds. I have the amount of self discipline as a rabid squirrel on Meth).
So I pulled out all my shit and found the fabric I cut for making the inside part of flowers. I rolled and stitched those bitches up. All 21 of them. It was pretty annoying especially since I wasn’t using a Teflon foot and I was sewing Pleather and so I had pick the foot up slightly with my knee and sew, which was also pretty uncomfortable. And now as I’m typing this I realize that I should have just picked the foot up slightly with the back bar thingy and I wouldn’t have had to stick my knee out in that fucked up position. OhhhhMyGod Bianca.
Okay then I was like #ThugLife and started glueing the petals on instead of hand sewing them on. I was using the glue gun. It all came out. Because apparently the glue gun glue doesn’t hold on that Pleather. Fucking choosy ass prick. So I decided to use my trusty superglue…which happened to be finished. And I had to wait for the parents to finish what they were doing to get more. So in the meantime I decided to dye my hair.
Blue black. Thats what it said on the box. Naturally, my hair is black. After I dyed it, it’s black. Its supposed to show blue in the sun. I went in the sun. It showed black. Maybe the sun wasn’t strong enough, I don’t know. Also, because I so brightly decided to wear my fluffy white PJ bottoms, they are no longer white. They are white and blue black.
As I still wait for my superglue, I feel the need (I remembered the threat) to put on my laptop and do my Theory of Clothing assignment. I put it on, wrote a sentence, and put it off (baby steps).
And, finally, the superglue arrives. I start superglueing petals like the fate of the world depended on it (well my eyebrows did, so basically the fate of the world actually did). Unfortunately, the devil was awake and my hands, my beautiful strong hands, were dead. Superglueing your skin together is not fucking fun. It is painful. It is very painful. Especially your palms. Apparently those are sensitive little bitches. AND OHMYFUCKINGGOD DO NOT TRY PEELING THEM OFF AS SOON AS THEY HAVE TOUCHED YOUR SKIN. ABORT MISSION. I REPEAT, ABORT THAT FUCKING MISSION!
After I recovered from those superglue episodes I had to start making the actual head thingys. But of course, Karma had seen me eat that Spagbol in the lounge, which is forbidden by the neat freaks I’m forced to call parents, when they weren’t here. Yeah the flowers and shit wasn’t holding on to the wire. It had failed. I had a mental breakdown. It lasted for 50 seconds. But it was still a mental breakdown. Anyway I was like fuck it and went to eat. Bitches ain’t shit.
And in conclusion, the possible reason for my procrastination is that I’m a clumsy piece of shit who makes bad decisions and rarely uses my brain when I’m forced to do work. I think you should all pray for my soul.
I Really Need To Pee Right Now
PS. Today is Saturday. I don’t have data. So I don’t know when this will be posted. #DataMustFall
PPS. Did I mention I somehow managed to get white candle shavings all over my hair just after I washed and blow dried it. WHITE, on black hair. Oh and it got all over my room floor too. WHITE, on black carpet. Guess who’s gonna be re-vacuuming.