My academic career is basically done. Unless I failed a module. Unlikely, but I wouldn’t be surprised cause I kinda went into idgaf mode during the last couple of weeks. Because it was the last couple of weeks. Anyway, holy fuck.
I’m trying to freak out. Like legit trying. But. It hasn’t hit home yet. Not. At. All. Its like a part of my brain has attached itself to the idea that I’m gonna be a student forever. Which eliminates any adulting anxiety (quick fact: I have only learnt this year that “Anxiety” is pronounced “ex-high-er-tea“. I always thought that “ex-high-er-tea” was spelled “Exhiety” and “Anxiety” was pronounced “ang-shit-tea“. I really don’t know how I’m alive. Cause, another quick fact: I pronounce “CTRL” on the keyboard as “sit-ril” because I didn’t know it was “Control”. Fuck me gently with a chainsaw). Anyway, I’m quite happy with that, cause, you know, “Ignorance is Bliss”.
So, Monday was like technically my last day at campus. And well, apart for life fucking with me during my last hand-in (which was actually just putting all my shit on display) (and of course, I ended up zszhding around like a bodyless lizard tail because…life), it was actually a yay day. I mean, I got to leave a mark in the toilets with the help of a bestieeee (I’m dead).
So it started when I was helping (was I really) her (warrapen Jacobular) put her (hosh hosh aweh aweh) shit in the lockers. I happened to find a piece of black pleather, which after a while of playing with it, realized it wasn’t just a piece of pleather, but a piece of pleather glove. I was to keep it and cherish it forever, but fate had another plan.
So for some reason we went into the toilets. I saw the windows. The gears clicked. And thus, the rest became history.
First, Jacobular stole some prestick from the notices on the doors. Then I attempted placing it on the lowest pane (because, you know, it was the only one i could reach). But then of course, we realized someone could just pull it out and life as we know it would cease to exist.
So, Jacobular suggested I get on the wall separating the toilets in order to stick it on the highest pane. So I stood on the toilet and Jacobular picked me up by my legs. And I just held on to the wall for balance. Until she told me to pick them up and place them over the wall. Which I didn’t know I was supposed to do. Which then started me off. Which then started her off. So there we were, her suspending a human, me the suspended human clutching the wall, laughing like idiots.
Eventually, I was up and sitting on the wall and placing the hand on the highest pane while Jacobular acted as prestick-hander and photographer (which she usually isn’t good at, but goddamn you should see a masterpiece that was somehow produced. I will upload it at the end. Which is near).
Anyway, I hope that someone uses that toilet when the lights get cut off and sees the hand and have multiple conniptions and die.
Okay not die. Cause we might get in trouble. But get really really really scared.
The Soon To Be Fashion and Textile Design Graduate
PS. Here are the pictures of our shenanigans (or shenanigan?) (DO YOU KNOW HOW FUCKING LONG I’M TRYING TO UPLOAD THESE PICTURES BUT IT KEEPS FAILING. I’M FUCKING GOING SHAMBEEZ. I CAN’T HANDLE THIS TYPE OF BULLSHIT) (OKAY ONLY ONE WANTS TO UPLOAD AND I DO NOT HAVE THE PATIENCE TO SIT FOR ANOTHER HOUR REMOTHERFUCKINGUPLOADING SO THERE: https://www.instagram.com/p/BLrGD0lDCEb/ YOU CAN SEE THE OTHER ONE ON IG)