I think I’m going through an existential crisis. But only during this month. So I’m going to pretend that I was put on this earth to admire OhMyFuckingGod male specimens. Yayyyyyyy.
*The following humans are fictional characters.
Let the feast begin.
1. Ramsey Bolton. Most of you may be going Nooooo what the actual fuck is wrong with you. But. Did you actually take the time to look at him and appreciate his chiselled jaw, cheeky smile and passionate eyes or did you just write him off just because he cut off Theons’ dick and mailed it to his family; and because he killed his father and fed his step-mother and half-brother to hounds; and because he flayed and tortured humans? Okay so maybe he was possibly the worst character on Game of Thrones and everyone probably rejoiced when he died, but you have to admit he was one of the smartest and I will still thank the Lord for his gorgeous ass.
2. Dorian Tyrell. I have so many screenshots of his face saved on my phone. He is basically the only reason I watch The Mask every time it shows on the tv. I cannot deal with how perfect Dorian is. I mean. Lord have mercy. The smooth way he talks, those hollow cheeks, the endless light eyes. I’m currently dying.
3. Jason Dean. Dark twinkling eyes, cocky smirk, bluntly wise mouth that spills poetic chaos from a twisted mind and homicidal tendencies make a deadly combination. I wish I could bottle up everything he has ever said in his fuck my life voice because it is basically baby-making music and this sentence makes no sense but it gets my point across. He is one of the best cult classic characters in…life. I swear everyone needs to watch Heathers just to appreciate the perfection that is Jason Dean.
4. Jerome Valeska. If you know me, you know there’s a special place in my heart belonging to The Joker. And I’m hoping that Gotham‘s Jerome Valeska ends up being The Joker. Because I mean. Did you see him. Did you hear him. Did you feel him. Well I did, in my soul. His psychopathic antics, idiosyncratic perspective and Jesus help me smile and laugh makes him a universal panty-dropper. I can’t. I mean. Fuck. Just. Fuck.
5. Klaus Mikaelson. Bitch I don’t even need to elaborate.
6. Thin Man. Thin Man from Charlie’s Angels was hot as hell. He may have had a hair fetish, but hey who doesn’t have their kinks. That pale complexion with those baby blue eyes that you just want to dive in with that carved jaw and sunken cheeks with the tallness makes every human weak in the knees. The beauty of this creature should be stored in every species heart.
7. Malachai “Kai” Parker. If you did not fall in love with this fucker the first time you set eyes on him, do you really have a heart? Do you really have eyes? I mean you don’t even need eyes, you can hear his hotness in his words. He may have been a hate-filled sociopath but he had his reasons and one should not lessen their passion for him based on his actions which may be frowned upon by most people. Because not only did the Lord bless him with aesthetics but he also blessed him with brains and wit and recklessness. Kai is love, Kai is life. The Vampire Diaries should not have killed him off. I’m still quite mad about that.
8. Chuck Bass. He is probably the only one on this list who’s normal. Which just shows you how special he is. He is legit the poster boy of puberty gone right. He made me believe in miracles. In Season 1 of Gossip Girl his ambitious heart and astute brain captured my heart. In Season 2 his ambitious heart, astute brain and Godly jawline captured my soul. Chuck Bass equals perfection. Because he’s Chuck Bass.
9. Jared Leto as The Joker. *drops mic*
There are a whole bunch of OhMyFuckingGods that I didn’t get a chance to list. Because 9 is my lucky number. And I’m stopping at 9. In hopes that these perfections come to life. I hope the universe is reading this and fulfills my request. Cause that’d be cool of it.
An OhMyFuckingGod Enthusiast