Where have I been? Parking dom. With books. And naps. And noodles. With hot sauce. In my bag.  

But legit, I have accomplished nothing except gaining knowledge for this past few…months? I don’t know, time has become a dandelion caught in a tornado. I’ve been in a zombiefied trance until today, when I awoke. I think it was the substantial amount of sea sand I ate. Accidently. Mother Nature cures, brah. 

So anyway, when I awoke I realized that my birthday is actually next week Monday. And I’m turning 21. MindBlown. I mean,  I still shop in the kiddies section and I get more excited going into “Toys R Us” than any other store and I cried when the parents didn’t wanna buy me a Batman costume. How am I turning 21? How did I even make it to 21? Some of Life’s confusing mysteries. 

And while we’re talking about mysteries,  I just read a book by Herman Koch (Summer House with Swimming Pool) and OhMyFuckingGosh. After I completed it I was like “K, cool”, but then when I went into the shower and was forced to chill alone with my thoughts I realized it was actually OhMyFuckingGod. This smart motherfucker shows you how you can miss clues banging on your front door by presuming the noise is coming from the window. Does that make sense? I don’t know. 

By the way, if you ever get captured or whatever and your nemesis is using zip ties to bind your hands, you should present your hands with your palms facing down and your fists clenched (it makes your wrist bigger, creating space so you can sorta easily slip out of it). The more you know. 

Okay bye, 

Reincarnated Nearly 21 Year Old In Denial Yay 

PS. I’m still being stalked by my ghost. Constantly waking up at 3:00 am to convince it to fuck off is killing me…softly with his love.

PPS. I really don’t wanna get old.