I have always (actually just the start of this year) thought that my biggest flaw was delaying reading and replying to peoples’ messages (because I’m too busy liking memes on Facebook). However, today I have come to realize that it’s actually my uncontrollable ability to trust everyone. E V E R Y O N E. No one is safe from my undying confidence. No one.
The apprehension of this kink in my system hit me today. I had just tagged into the Gautrain station when a random worker (I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW WHAT HE DID THERE) walked towards me asking me where I’m going. So I told him. And then he told me that the train isn’t running there now cause…(yeah I sorta stopped paying attention right around there cause I was busy thinking of the countless adventures I could have because of this development)…but then I see normal people going down to the tracks like everything is fine and then the disappointment set in cause…it was just gonna be a normal trip back. So I got back to listening as he asked my name, and (after some seconds cause it takes me a bit of time to decide which name to give since I have two and I get called by both everyday and there’s a period where I completely forget both and that was the period) I told him. I didn’t ask for his cause…I didn’t care (which is probabaly why I don’t know so many peoples’ names)(it’s because I don’t ask)(I need to stop my fuckery). After a few minutes, my brain kicked into gear and I realized that I had just told this complete stranger where I’m from (including why I hated it there), where I’m currently living (even explained why here is better), what I’m currently doing (Interning, if I haven’t mentioned it yet), with who I’m interning (also painted him a brief portrait there), where I’m interning (additionally gave him directions), what I graduated with (further stating when my scam was complete), what my plans are for the future (gave him the complete rundown), and I even told him how much I hated Winter (I really wasn’t made for this weather). And the WhatTheFuckBianca (I’m currently Bianca now) part is that he isn’t the first or nineteenth (I’m turning 22 this year and the universe keeps reminding me of this and I’m not ready)(help) stranger that I have divulged personal details to. Nope, I am the Hagrid of information.
Anyway, for some good news, I have made 3 constant (means I see them everyday just in case you were confused) friends (they have used the word friend so they’ve gotten themselves into this mess) by myself (I didn’t get introduced or was helped in any way). I’m actually quite proud of myself (even though they actually approached me). Though I don’t think the adults in my life would be very pleased in my choice (not actually mine but they live in my heart now so) of friends (considering two are car guards and one is a railway security guard)(and they’re kinda oldish), but they don’t have to know about my double life so it’s cool.
Oh and an update of my decision making skills: Still Catastrophic. My family went shopping without me but they got me stuff. Winter tops to be specific (they know my wardrobe is 98% Summer and I’m dying everyday in this weather)(I’m from Durban, what do people expect)(I miss people asking me “Where are your pants”). So I tried them on at home and decided Nay, I’m gonna exchange them for some other Winter-worthy garments. We went to the shop…and I exchanged them for Summer Tees that are gonna have people asking me where my pants are. Well done Bianca, you foolish twat.
Your Trusting Half-Giant Half Human
PS. The “Half-Giant Half-Human” thing was a reference to Hagrid. I’m actually small wishing to be bigger. So if anyone knows a growth serum…overindulge with me.
PPS. I’m sorry I haven’t been blogging as much as I used to. I may be going through writers block even though I’m not a writer. I may be a block though.